So Lucky
by IsabellaUnleashed
Summary: Set right after Jack and Rose plunge into the icy ocean and are nearly sucked down with the remnants of the ship. Told from Jack's point of view; this depicts what was going through his mind when he saved Rose from the terrible fate he had to suffer. One-shot.


Gasping for breath and kicking like a madman, I break the surface of the water. It's okay, it wasn't Rose's fault. She didn't mean to let go. Besides, I said I was a strong swimmer. Oh, but where is she? Among all this madness of people paddling around everywhere, the freezing droplets distorting my vision, how can I find her? I hit my head hard, and curse. I feel around for the item that struck me, my vision a little blurry. It's very detailed and firm - definitely wood. When I regain my vision, I see one of the ornately carved doors from the ship. This is - this is perfect! We can float on it, and hopefully not freeze to death or die from exertion. Now if I could just find Rose in this chaos.

And just like music to my ears, I hear her.

"Jack!" I faintly hear the yelling to my left, almost completely covered by the other screams of terror. I turn to that direction, hear it again, but this time it is ended quickly by a spluttering of being pulled under. Is the suction still working? Oh no, Rose, no - oh god. It's a panicked man using her as flotation. No, no no no - before I know what's come over me, pain rushes through my knuckles and up my arm, and the man is falling backwards in the water, clutching his face. But Rose is safe and near me, and that's all that matters - my gorgeous Rose. The near-frozen void around me nullifies the throbbing quickly anyways, so swiftly it leaves me wondering if there was any in the first place. My plan flashes back into my mind and I begin to instruct her again.

"Swim, Rose! I need you to swim!" I lead her along, tugging her through the torrential waves caused by all the flailing, panicked people. "Keep swimming!" She's kicking as hard as she can; I can feel that through the tugging on my hand -but she doesn't even know where we're going. She trusts me so completely in two days, and I rely on her the same way. I cannot believe how lucky I am to be with her - and how unlucky that my true love and I would be in a disastrous shipwreck so soon after meeting. 'That doesn't matter now,' I think to myself. 'I love her. I am so lucky to have met her. So lucky.'

We finally arrive at the door, and luckily no one has occupied it in the time we were gone.

"C'mon, here, get on. Get on, c'mon Rose!" I help her up the door as gently as possible, as she heaves her own way up. I attempt to move myself up next to her, but the board starts to tip down towards us and flip over. Oh no... it won't hold both of us. I let go and continue to let her on. What was I thinking? I have to get Rose out of this algidity. That's all that matters right now - just get her out of the frosty seas. She comes first - before anything else.

"C'mon, stay on Rose." I paddle around to the front of the door and crane my neck to look up at her. I grip her hands tightly, the cuffs around my wrists now extremely gelid and clanging against the door loudly. "It'll be alright now... It'll be alright now." I whisper to just us. Our faces are close together and we share as much heat as we could have in this wintry air. I would kiss her beautiful face in this proximity in any other circumstance, but I don't have the energy to lift my head to hers. I take this as a bad sign. Ah, no, don't think about that now. Think about how magnificent the girl in front of you is instead. How lucky am I to have met her? So lucky. So, so lucky.

I grasp the moment to gather my breath again, utterly exhausted. But I can't let myself rest much longer. The terrible screams around us and terror-stricken faces start to cloud my mind, and I know they do the same to Rose. I have to distract her. That's when I hear the whistle. The guard behind us is beckoning the lifeboats back. It's a fair enough idea, but I haven't the strength to join the chorus of the beseeching survivors. But it is the perfect opportunity to distract her. I summon the energy to talk to her.

"The boats will - c-come back for us now, Rose." I try to calm my stuttering with a loud swallow, but it is no use. "H-hold on j-just a little bit longer. T-they had t-to - row away from the s-suction, but - n-now they'll - b-be coming back." I need to take another break. I have to save my strength for holding on to the door. But the shrill pleading is overwhelming, so I hold onto Rose's hand and try to give her something else to think about.

* * *

I had wished for the cacophonous begging to cease and for Rose to think about something else, but not like this. It eerily quieted down, in a fashion where you know the people screaming before are dying agonizing, slow deaths. It's a eerie, heart-wrenching calm, only a couple crushed calls for help. I needed to speak for Rose. At least, I thought I did, until she did it for me.

"It's getting quiet." She breathes.

"It's just gonna take a - a couple minutes to get - the boats organized." I shiver and gasp for breath, trying to think of what else to say. I get to thinking about how Rose told me of the ice warning the crew had. The White Star Line had better hire more responsible people to run their ships. Especially because most of the crew will be dead now...

_Don't think like that Jack!_ I think to myself. _Get it together._ "I d-don't know about you, b-but - I int-tend to - write a strongly w-worded letter - to the White Star Line about a-all t-this..." I say, hoping to get some joy into this bleak existence for Rose. But she is only silent, almost like the lifeless corpses drifting through the still water around us.

I begin to ponder something else witty to say, the frigidity seeming to freeze my brain, when she replies with a forlorn "I love you, Jack..." Any other time I would get so warm inside with adoration for her, crush her to my chest and kiss her, telling her the same. But the way she said it this time - like a farewell - breaks my heart. I feel more frozen than I had before inside, but I force my brain work again - it is time to cheer her up. I take short, quick breaths, willing myself to speak.

"Don't you do that..." I choke on air, those few words taking a lot from me. But I can't stop there. "Don't you say your goodbyes... Not yet." I am beginning to regain some strength, the adrenaline of needing to keep her positive flowing through my veins. Nevertheless, it is a slow current, and I gasp a little more. "Do you understand me?"

"I'm so cold..." She pitifully remarks. I stare into her dulled eyes and see all the vulnerability there. It reminds me of the first time I saw her. An exquisite but broken girl, hanging off the back of a huge boat, not being able to spot a bright future anywhere. The tears that stained her porcelain face and the torn depression in her eyes were like this now. I hadn't been able to think of anything but her since. I can't let her look like that again. I can't let her die. I can't let her think she will. I can't let her, I can't let her...

"Listen, Rose... you're gonna get out of here..." Wheezing, I see her eyes trained on me intently. She is relying on me for hope. I can't let her down. I can't. "You're gonna go on - and you're gonna m-make l-lots of babies..." she makes a small noise at this, and I know that she is thinking that she won't. Come on, Jack, continue! "And you're gonna watch 'em grow... You're gonna die an old - an old lady, warm in her bed." I shake my head at her. "Not here... not this night... not like this, do you understand me?" I look up at her intensely, the fire burning behind my eyes. I shiver, trying to stay alert and looking into her soul.

"I don't feel my body..." The negativity threatens to overtake her, but I won't let it. I can't let it.

"Winning that ticket, Rose..." I tell her what I've known all along, what she needs to know, what I've wanted to tell her. "... it was the best - thing that ever happened to me..." I gulp and feel the tears prick my eyes, but I won't cry in front of her. "It brought me to you." A genuine smile, amidst all of this, rises up on my face. It comes from all the short hours we had together - short, but wonderful, blissful, amazing hours. Ones I will never forget and will take to my grave. "And I'm thankful for that, Rose... I'm thankful!" I grip her hands tighter, burning the tiny smile on her face into my memory for eternity. I am so lucky to have this opportunity. So, so lucky.

I can just feel the life slipping out of my body, making it an empty vessel - but I'm not letting go yet. I can't.

"Y-you must - you m-must do me this honor..." I'm clutching my last straw. I'm not letting it go... Swallow, breathe, and talk, Jack. Swallow, breathe, and talk... "You must p-promise me... That you'll survive." I heave deeply, but cut Rose off before she can protest. "That - you won't - give up..." I start to tear up again, and try to cover it up. I know she can see them though. I need to speak faster. "... no matter - what happens." Speaking is getting more and more difficult, but can pull through. I know I can. I told Rose I am a survivor and I did not lie. "No matter - how - h-hopeless..." I see darkness on the edges of my vision closing in. Come on... I become a little more forceful. "Promise me now, Rose." I hear her starting to cry. I want to comfort her, but she has to listen right now. "And never let go of that promise." I finally get it all out.

She replies half-heartedly, "I promise." I, frankly, don't believe her. I look deeply into her eyes again, seeing spots. 'I want the truth Rose!' I channel through our gaze, and I utter the last three words she needs.

"Never let go..." I breathe out what I know are my final words on this Earth, finishing my thoughts, all my love pouring out for her in my gaze. I will no longer be able to physically love her, so I must let her know she is loved. Oh, she is loved so deeply.

"I will never let go, Jack." She cries, and I know she means it this time - I can see the devotes sincerity through the thick tears that start to freeze on her lovely face. "I'll never let go." I kiss her hand with the very last of my strength like the nickelodeons and smile lovingly, knowing it will remind her of our dinner and, hopefully, take her to a better place. Heck, I need a happy place right now, for I can feel the smile falling off my face as the cold catches up to me again.

I rest my head on our hands held together, trying to lay down slow and not hurt myself, and take many shallow breaths. I know I am living my last minutes. I am aware that I'm not making it out of this. If I'm being honest, I knew as soon as the door wouldn't support the both of us. But surprisingly, I don't care. Rose - My radiant, loving Rose - she is alive. She promised me she would survive. She pledged she would fulfill her dreams and never, ever let go. That's all I want. It's all I could ever want. I feel a strange but fulfilling contentment swaddle me as my breathing slows. I don't need to exist anymore. She will be safe and sound when the boats come - and they will. I know they will. She will live, love, and carry on without me. 'I love you so much...' I think, smiling slightly, and steal a final glance at my elegant flower looking up at the stars. And to my surprise and complete joy, she starts to sing quietly. It's our song from when I helped her to fly at the very front of the boat.

"Come Josephine, in my flying machine, going up, she goes, up, she goes..." It serenades me and brings the exact memories I need as I let go. I love you, Rose... I was so lucky to meet you.

So lucky...


End file.
